Abu Dhabi Day 7 of 7: Afterthought

A few things I may not have mentioned before. The tabs on this blog are mainly for work but I can’t use it in AD. Why, because of the ‘pigs’ in the title. No pork but I did have chicken ‘sausages’ and ‘veal‘ bacon for breakfast. I had to make a special blog just for the Arabs.

It’s very noticeable out here that the service industries are run by non-Arabs, mostly from the east and far east. I saw no evidence of this but the client here told me that, on the whole, the local Emirates, the Arabs, easily spotted in their traditional dishdash and ghutrah, are arrogant and racist. An Arab would think it beneath him to work in such a menial job. In a taxi queue, he would expect others to stand aside for him. As I said, all hearsay.

I also forgot to say just how much fun the bike ride was. I haven’t ridden a bike for nearly 4 years and really did enjoy it, especially here where it’s hot and very flat. I was offered a helmet but refused as you can see from the photos how clear the paths were, hardly any other cyclists or walkers. Back in the 90s I used to cycle to the station in Hertfordshire, take the train to London and pick up a second old bike there for the ride to Russell Square. In fact, in the 70s I had a folding bike and regularly rode from Swiss Cottage to Oxford Street. I must take it up again this summer.

Everybody out there was so helpful and friendly, the client even booked me an extra night at the hotel (they paid me a travel day as well) although I was to leave for the airport at 11.30pm that evening. 

I'd love to come back for a holiday.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 7 of 7: Arrive Home

It turns out that the desk is open so I check in and look at the large guy in the red teeshirt and shorts next to me. He’s with his lovely young wife. At least I think she’s young and lovely. It’s difficult to tell as she is dressed all in black in the traditional abaya (full length gown, no adornments), the sheyla (the head scarf) and a thick veil fully covers her face. She does have a brilliantly coloured tattoo on her right hand, probably a cultural thing. I can see that for the men it adds an air of elegance and mystery but it just doesn’t seem right.

I go through security, minus my water bottle, but still with my trusty little bottle of contact lens liquid and on to find the boarding gate. Stop at one of the many free standing internet PCs and post, for free, a message on Facebook. Although there have been no announcements, the departures board, which did not show a check in desk at all earlier, has now gone straight to ‘last call’. Hurry to gate 35 only to find a long queue, so no stress there then.

Through the gate and straight to my window seat on the plane. I set my watch, and laptop, back 4 hours and look forward to a choice of films and a good sleep (some hope). More blog when we land at 6.00am, UK time.

The flight is uneventful and better than the one out although I only sleep for about ½ hour. I watch the 3 films. The first, ‘Faster’, I watch for 10 minutes, it’s rubbish. The second is ‘The Town’ with Ben Afleck, which is about a bank heist and is very good. The last is the latest Harry Potter, which is about well, Harry Potter. Daniel can’t act but at least, now she’s of age, I can admit to liking Emma Watson. I also love the house elves, Treacher (Gollum?) and poor Doby but the best thing in it is evil HBC.

Not a bad landing at 5.47am and by 6.45am I’m on a train to Manchester where I change for Leeds, then on to Garforth and a lift home with my lovely wife. I hope she brings my car as my suitcase won’t fit in the boot of her old Z3!

It’s typical that I should get home to discover that although I only have 3 days booked in May, two clients want the same 3 days and neither is prepared to budge; so I lose 3 days work!

  

Abu Dhabi Day 7 of 7: Arrive at Airport

I fly home tonight at 2.15am. Weather  23°C and warm. No music or photos but free wi fi at the airport.

Skype Jennie and go down to checkout. My taxi driver (from Nepal) of this afternoon has promised to return at 11.30pm and take me to the airport. Suffer the twin traumas of checkout and taxi journey.

Trauma 1 at checkout. In reception at the checkout, instead of returning the unused balance of the 1,000dhs they took on my arrival they tell me I owe them 165dhs! They have not only included the 315dhs I already paid by visa card for a cash withdrawal during the week when the ATM refused both my credit cards, but have also added on an extra nights stay at 500dhs. 

It takes a while, as I worry about my taxi arriving, but is soon all sorted. However, they now offer me the balance of 750dhs in cash! Eventually persuade them to credit it to my visa card and we're done (or I nearly was). For imformation, 750dhs is about £126. Before I go I leave most of the notes I have not used in a sealed envelope as a tip for the guys who run for taxis etc (not a good idea, see below). They get paid peanuts.

Trauma 2, the taxi fare. The taxi driver from Nepal has just arrived as I'm led outside by another guy from Nepal, who insists on carrying my bag. We head for the airport and chat, then pass the Grand Mosque which is lit with a pale blue light at night. I should have stopped for more photos. It's then, as the meter reaches 15dhs, that I look in my wallet and realise that I'd completely forgotten about the taxi fare when I gave the guys at the hotel a large tip. All I have left is 26dhs. 

I worry as the meter passes 20 then 25, 30 then 35, 40 then 45 and stops at 47dhs. Oops! However, the driver is very understanding and waits while I run in to the ATM. It's only when I push in my visa card that I remember what happened in the week, both cards refused. I wait, fingers crossed, and it's accepted, the only drawback being that 100dhs is the minimum withdrawal. Return and pay the driver, include a big tip and then go and wait (and blog) in the departures lounge. No sign of a check-in gate yet.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 7 of 7: My Last Day, The Corniche By Bicycle

"Ma is-salaama"; last day. Weather  33°C, still sunny and hot. Music: Kate Rusby (Little Lights, I especially like Who Will Sing Me To Sleep). Now The Killers (Sam's Town), Kings of Leon and Leonard Cohen while I pack. New photos here on FB. Tip: carry a note pad, blog with pen and paper and then write it up later.

The batteries in my portable speakers have died, I’ve broken my lovely, Logica, wireless mouse and I've run out of mint teabags; they must know it’s time to leave. Today, when the course finishes, I hope to go back to the Corniche, hire a bicycle and ride to the port to see the dhows.

I wake at 5.30am and make tea then finish my current blog post, put captions on most, but not all, of the latest 90 odd photos and then realise the time. I may write a new blog “Blogging Stole My Life”! A quick shower and a rushed breakfast and I just make it to the office, at 8.07am, before the first delegate, the one who’s the worst at timekeeping, arrives. Typical; he’s early on the last day and already wants to finish and leave..

We are expecting a visitor from the university at lunch time and while we wait they do the post course quiz and complete the evaluations. It’s only then that I realise that of my 6 delegates only 1 will be using what we have covered in their current job. Of the others 3 are on the course because they were “sent by their manager” and 2 because they thought it was something else, the pre-requisite course which they should have been on before this one! It's all very disheartening but at least all the scores went up and the one lady delegate, Reem, who seems really interested and will be using it, wins with 23 out of a possible 30.

One delegate, a guy called Nawaf shows me how he can change his keyboard to Arabic and then types my name backwards, from right to left. Amazing. 

Have the local fish, hammour, with rice and chips (only a few) for lunch and return to the hotel to get ready for this afternoon's adventure, a visit to the port.

Take a taxi to the Corniche by the sea.  I might have known there would be two Shereton Hotels and the Indian driver chooses the one I don't want.  When we near the sea and I realise that I'm nowhere near where I want to be, I get him to drop me off. He does this in the middle of a dual carriageway and I find I can't get off it, it's all fenced in! Eventually escape to the walkway by the sea and then find the bike hire. Dennis, from the Phillipines, a Christian, is lovely and very helpful. 

I hire a bike for an hour for 20dhs, about £3.20 and set off. See where I went via the photos here. Meet a Norseman with his little dog. he's been here 11 years and I ask about the heat. He says he still walks his dog when it's in the 40s but drinks plenty of water. He even ventures out in July when its 50+ but says that is only on 6 - 7 days of the year. Who to believe; the Indian taxi driver says he can only leave his cab for about a minute in such heat.

This is another picture blog with comments, the best for me being the near fight, well a stand off really. See it here.

Arrive back with the bike after an hour. Dennis takes my picture and I his and he points me at a taxi rank on the main road. I wait for about 20 minutes and 10 taxis pass all taken, Go back to Dennis but can't find him until I spot him crouched behind his counter. Give him a tip of 10dhs and set off into town where I find a cab back to the hotel.

Just time for a quick shower before Rick, who I'm working for out here, arrives to take me for a drink. We go to one of only 3 venues in Abu Dhabi where you can sit and drink outside. It's a courtyard surrounded on all sides so gives no offence. It is very, very busy and at first we see no Arabs but many other nationalities, all of the women in western dress. I could well have been at home. Make merry with 2 pints of Kilkenny and do spot 3 Arabs although only one appears to be staying for a drink.

Now to finish packing and then checkout. I leave the hotel at 11.30pm for the flight at 2.15am so just time to skype home.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 6 of 7: The Actual Grand Mosque Visit

Last night I took a taxi to the Grand Mosque, 25 dhs, out near the airport. It's stunning, free to visit, as is the 45 minute tour, no restrictions on photography, save for one building, the tomb, and a mine of statistics. Too many to mention here, see the link. My favourite is that it has the "world's largest carpet".  I'll describe the tour via comments on the photos found here on FB. There are too many for one album so I've split it in two, outside and inside.

You may be interested in some of the "Dress and Behaviour Code", which follows:

We kindly ask all visitors to respect our religion and place of prayer by following these simple requests: Visitors must be dressed appropriately on arrival; if not, entry will be denied.

- Modest, conservative, loose fitting clothing; long sleeves, long skirts and trousers
- No transparent (see-through) clothing
- No shorts for men
- No shorts and skirts must be ankle length
- No tight clothing, no swimwear and no beachwear.
- Shoes will be removed before entering the mosque, so we recommend slip off shoes
- Headscarf for ladies is essential (these can be provided when you arrive)
- Intimate behaviour; i.e. holding hands or kissing is not acceptable in a Muslim place of worship
- Visitors are requested not to touch the Holy Quran (Holy Book) and other architectural elements inside the main prayer hall.
 
They are really friendly and helpful and don't deny access, they just dress you appropriately, see the photos.

I was told to have my cab wait (what and pay extra?) but there are several waiting for custom when I leave. The first I approach is waiting for his fare and has come from Dubai, over 160kms away. The next one takes me back to the hotel.

After a small dinner of halloumi and lentil soup, I sit on the bed to read at 8.30pm and wake at 11.45pm! Skype Jennie, an hour late, and go back to bed and wake again at 5.30am. At last I can sleep. Sod's law though as I'm flying home tonight!

This blogging lark (anyone OCD has to get it right), and the choosing, cropping and loading of photos to FB, plus comments added, certainly fills the day. I've not watched any of the videos I brought with me nor even opened my novel. Not much TV either but I have listened to a lot of music and BBC7. However, any followers, watchers and any comments all make it worthwhile. Thank you all.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 6 of 7: The Grand Mosque Visit

"Wayn"; not when but where. Weather due to be 32°C, sunny and hot. A misty start today; it will be very hot when it burns off. Music: Tanita Tikaram, Tan Dun. Photos here on FB. Today the Grand Mosque. Tip: still no.

Oh dear, not a good start. The walk-in shower decides to run hot and cold (is a shower female?), not what you'd expect for 5 stars, and I then trawl the end of the rather large towel on the wet floor. Never mind, there's a second towel.

I forgot to mention that yesterday, while at the beach, I wore, being English, a white shirt, long shorts, sandals, factor 30 sun cream and my folding Panama hat.

I breakfast at 7.00am and today spot the bottle of Maple Syrup for use by the Americans. Yuk! I also realise why everyone says hello and not mahaba and why all the signs are in Arabic and English. It’s because most of the people in the service industry don’t speck Arabic. They are not Arabs but one of the over 200 nationalities working here.

On the way to the office spot once more my favourite of all the fabulous cars I have seen here; a white Porsche Panamera 4s saloon, picture on FB soon.

Arrive at 7.55am, no delegates yet. By 8.30 we have 5 of the 6, no Hamda, so I make a start. Today, mobile phones are even more in evidence than yesterday, some even in use while I’m trying to explain a difficult topic that would go straight over their heads even if they were paying attention. Not happy; I hope I get to “offsted” them but I doubt it.

As we break for breakfast at 10.00am, Hamda breezes in but no apology. Later on I lose them completely as we are now on to the hard core, really difficult topics and they struggled with the easy ones. At this point Reem leaves for the day to attend hospital. At 11.55am have a 5 minute break but no one returns before their next break at 12.30pm for prayers. I don’t suppose I’ll see them again before 1.00pm; yes here they come, and we finish for lunch at 2.00pm! I’ve realised that they have lunch at the end of the day because if they had it midway through the day, no one would return for the afternoon. Still, now only an hour to go. I’ve made up more exercises to keep them busy till then. 

Lunch with two of the guys, "King" fish, I think it's shark, and back to the hotel via the ATM. This stubbornly refuses to dispense any cash so I have to use reception instead. Check the cheapest room price for the basic room with no breakfast, on offer at 574 dh, that's £95. Find a superior double room on booking.com for only £99. 

Tea now, then skype and sleep before the visit to the Mosque.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 6 of 7: The Grand Mosque

Another one I like, "alf", means thousand. Weather 32°C, sunny and hotter. Music: Karl Jenkins Sanctus, BBC7 recordings, a play and Round The Horne. Photos here on FB. Today I plan to visit the Grand Mosque. Tip: no.

To conclude from last night. I left the Corniche and walked back past the Sheraton Hotel, an easy landmark to find as the many hotels here are all very tall. Crossed the road at green, I love the way there is a count down from 30 - 1, and then wait at the next red, which also has a count down. Jay walking here is frowned upon but I follow two ladies across on red. In fact, I haven't seen a single policeman since I arrived. Try to hail a taxi, as it's a 3.5km walk, but of course I still think I'm at home so I'm on the wrong side of the dual carraigeway. I amused the driver when I arrived at the airport by insisting on sitting in the front seat and trying to get in on the driver's side! He asked "you want to drive?". 

Pick one up outside the hotel, he's from Pakistan, for the ride back. The traffic outside the Al Wada mall next to the hotel is a nightmare. I've only visited the mall during the afternoon when it is very quiet but now that work is over it is very, very busy. Impressed that they have valet parking, just like in the States. Arrive at the hotel, skype home and bed.

I wonder if it takes every one else as long as it does me to write a blog or is it just that I'm a little OCD and have to have proper speling and punctuation! Makes a change, fishing for comments not compliments..

Sleep until 3.30am, better than usual. After yesterday's visit to the beach I debate whether I could live here. Plus points include lovely food, friendly people, warm weather, no income tax or VAT (save £4000 on a £24,000 car) and petrol at 1.7 dirham per litre, that's about 29 pence! No wonder they all drive giant SUVs; the cost is half that at home and anyway, you (well, boys not yet grown up) need one for the sand dunes apparently.

However, there is a down side. Yesterday at the beach, a resident explained that there are no real seasons here and it's "not nice" in the summer (Apr - Sep) when temperatures can reach 52°C!! In that heat you drip sweat, can't hold the steering wheel of a car and a CD on the dash would melt! They cope here by utilising air conditioning and moving quickly from one AC environment to another. The best way is to have a remote which starts the car, and it's AC, from the comfort of home, more AC. You then hurry out to the car, when it has cooled, and then from the car to your AC cooled destination. Clever.

The guy I talked to teaches school leavers maths and computing at one of the many universities here. His other jolly story was about when it rains. One of my delegates, Nawat, said it never rains although they can make their own. The guy tells me that last year it did rain on 7 non-consecutive days and that when it does it's such a novelty that his students insist on standing outside in the rain with arms outstretched. They then come inside and shake like a shaggy dog.

I find a job I might do out here but the salary is only 18,000 - 20,000 dirhams a month plus flights. Now, that might sound like a lot but 20,000 dirhams at 16p is only £3,200 which gives only £38,400 per year. This is about the going rate for a permanent post in the UK so you only save on the tax. I'm beginning to think that visits like my current one are the best way to see Abu Dhabi and the UAE. I can arrange to come out when it's cool and as a freelance would earn a rate far higher than that.

It's 4.44am here so back to bed for sleep (I'm hopeful) or some TV, Come dine With Me? More blog later.

No, can't sleep and no Come Dine With Me, so I update this blog, shower and breakfast.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 5 of 7: On The Beach

"Aasif", another word I like , means sorry. Weather 29°C, starts misty then sunny and hot. Music: Madeleine Peyroux while I blog. Loads of new photos here on FB . Tip: given up now, google it.

Arrive at the office dead on 8, one guy already present but we don’t have everyone here until 8.20am, so another late start. My contact here from Abu Dhabi University  drops by at break time. I had intended to visit the Corniche, the coast road, tomorrow and he advises hiring a bike and heading for the port where dhows are moored. That might be fun, if I can stay awake that long. Maybe next visit.

Of my 6 delegates, 4 of them, the 3 women and 1 of the men, I think are actually bonded to their mobile phones and appear to be constantly checking, texting or accessing the internet during the class. Although I wouldn’t put up with this at home I will have to here as it may be a “culture” thing and I don’t want to upset them; I might not get paid if I do. Later Reem (female) tells me that a course is like a break akin to a holiday for them. They expect to have a rest, not work too hard and leave early. Well, they are certainly doing all three of those.

Lunch alone again, delicious lamb chops with rice and vegetables but refuse desert, then back to the hotel to prepare for the trip to the Grand Mosque. So tired I fall asleep at 3.00pm whilst reading the sports pages and am woken at 4 by my mobile alarm. Don't feel I can do the Mosque justice so set off for the Corniche instead. See the photos on Fb. 

Too tired for more blogging, lots of comments on the photos. 

Bed soon so goodnight.

  

Abu Dhabi Day 5 of 7: Still Can't Sleep

"Yassar", today's lovely word, means left. Weather 29°C, sunny and hot. Music: Gypsy Kings, Willie Nelson (just the one) and James Taylor (from the 60's) via iTunes and then Adele (again, I really like this) via Spotify. No new photos on FB. Tip: none (my brain hurts).

To bed last night before 11.00pm but awake by 2.30am. I don't seem to need much sleep out here, surely I'm not still jet lagged, and I do need all of this extra time for blogging. One problem is that if I wake and have an idea, I can't sleep again until I post on FB or Blogger. Note to self, I must also try Wordpress soon. Tea, and then FB and this blog. The trouble with FB at this time of night, is that the UK is all abed and all of my posts come together (so to speak), a bit like saturation bombing. Correct a few things in older blog postings; it's really hard work being even a bit OCD.

It occurred to me that you may think, as I start each post with an Arabic word, that I am practising (s or c? click here) the language. Well, it's a nice thought but everybody, and I mean everybody, all the waiters, shop assistants and even I suspect the street sweepers, in Abu Dhabi city, as opposed to the rest of Abu Dhabi, the country, speaks English and greet me with "Good morning". Well, obviously, that's only in the morning, they also do "Hello" and "Good evening" etc.

Some locals, including one of my delegates, Mohammed, (I have a 50/50 split, 3 men and 3 women on the course), I do find hard to understand. I've also had feedback that they are having problems at times following me. I must try and speak more slowly and more clearly today. I'm also expecting an "offsted" equivalent as the client is due to visit soon to see how we're doing. Well, if he'd come by yesterday, after prayers, he'd have discovered that Mohammed hadn't appeared at all for the after prayer session. So that's why they sign in for both morning and afternoon at the start of the day! Being mean, I've crossed him off the list for the afternoon.

I'll maybe try and sleep now, it's 4.42am, and then shower and an early breakfast, with my free copy of the Gulf Times, at 7.00am. 

Still can't sleep so watch TV: the Flintstones, 2 films with Arnie, Green, Green, Grass (God help us) and then the Arabic version of "تحقيق حول الجدار", the one with Du Beke. Amazing, the cursor really does go right to left over the Arabic words so they actually type backwards! 

In the end settle for Come Dine With Me, brilliant, what a mix. Greg's a bit rough, I like him, Amy's in PR, Toby's just a prick and the young (gay) male is a socialite. Amy is 23, has money enough for mink and fox but her lamb is still raw when cooked. Best of all, Toby, the freelance food writer comes last!

Best stop now and arrive at the office early today.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 4 of 7: Caught Out

"Yamlyn", lovely word, means right. Weather still 27°C and warm. Music selection from Johnny Cash, Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard. A few new photos on FB. Tip: can’t think of one, this blogging lark takes long enough as it is. Now have two followers, thanks Sara.

Visit the gym to break in my new, cheap trainers (left old ones at home) and walk/run on the treadmill, the first time in over 3 years I've done this. Then up to the roof for a swim in the almost (one other swimmer) empty pool. 

Decide to go out for a coffee and cake and leave the room in shorts and teeshirt plus my complimentary slippers. Return for sandals. Try to take a picture at Costa Coffee but am politely told by a security guard that cameras are not allowed. Just as well I sneakily took some earlier. Consider setting up to secretly record video from the coffee table but decide against.

Go back to the hotel to ring Jennie via skype again. Take a quick snapshot of our startled cat Raffi at home and put him on FB. Informed by text that the client may visit tomorrow. Iron new white shirts whilst listening to BBC7 recordings as no access to iplayer here. Did consider the cinema tonight but stay in instead. Tomorrow will visit the Grand Mosque of Abu Dhabi. Wait till you see the photos. Amazing. Now for bed.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 4 of 7: Almost Half Way

"Sabah il-khayr, kayf haalak" (good morning, how are you?).Weather today 27°C, hot and sunny. Music Adele, Bowie and Eels. New photos on FB. Tip: Make your blog more interesting with pictures. (great idea but I can't load any out here).

Up at 6.45 and blog for too long which makes me late for breakfast, same as yesterday but this time warmer. I'm also late when I arrive at the training venue at 8.10, annoying as I'm almost always early. However, it's not a problem as only 2 of the 7 delegates are present. This is not unusual here apparently. 

I ask permission, which is granted, and take a picture of the two, one woman, Hamda and one man, Nawaf. Later when I have a full class, I again ask permission but Mariam refuses, so no photos of them all then. I've taken photos of buildings, the pool and one of a cat but have yet to figure out how to take them of the locals without giving offence.

We break for breakfast at 10.00; they eat while I blog. Several return late, the last one 10 minutes later than agreed. Most use their mobiles at every break and Reema has been out three times to answer her mobile. She says she has a problem with her car; rubble from a construction site fell onto the roof and she was in the car at the time!. They are all so relaxed about time keeping here that it will be a wonder if we manage to cover all of the material in the course.

During prayer break at 12.30 I mark the quiz they did at the start of the course. I'm not a fan of these. Top mark is 12 1/2 out of 30 but Reem, who is the best student, only gets 8 1/2. So what does that tell me?

Lunch is just me, well one of the women and me. I'll lunch alone because men and women never sit together here for such a meal. At a wedding for instance, after the ceremony, the men go to one room and the women to another. Might have advantages but it will never catch on back at home. Have prawns again this time with hammour, a local fish in a creamy sauce. Still avoid the sweet trolley. 

On the way back to the hotel I secretly take pictures in the shopping mall. Probably be thrown in jail if I get caught. Skype wife and then son and now off for a swim.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 3 of 7: Start the Course

"Sabah il-khayr" (good morning).Weather today 27°C, still cloudy and warm; music Jose Gonzalez, Damien Rice and Nick Drake. New photos on FB. Tip: you don’t have to be on-line to write a blog. Just type into a file and copy and paste later.

Just make the 10 minute walk to the office in time to pay another visit. This is not fun but later it eases and I still don't feel unwell. The laptop setup takes me until 8.30am but this is no problem as only 4 of the 7 delegates have deigned to arrive by then. Eventually, six turn up in total. They wear the trademark black and white, the 3 men in the dishdash, the 3 women in the abaya and a sheyla (a headscarf). All the delegates have very fuzzy course prerequisites but are really quiet and well behaved, unlike in England. I thought I was softly spoken but they all seem to speak in whispers.

We agree breaks for breakfast at 10.00am, 30 minutes, like in Scotland, prayers at 12.30pm, 15 minutes, unlike in Scotland, a brief break for coffee and a free cooked lunch, served when we finish the day at about 2.00pm. I ask one lad, Fawat, about his hours and he usually works 7am - 3pm with no lunch break. We start (and will end) with a 30 question quiz which is very unusual for such courses. A good idea though as it will measure how much they learn this week.

Later I compliment Reem on her sheyla, which is black but heavily embroidered with deep blue and glitter. She smiles. I reflect and ask is that OK? She replies that yes, it is in her case but to be careful as it may be misconstrued as flirting! I'd better watch my step. 

Finish the day at 2.00pm (I could get used to this) and enjoy a lunch of salad and prawn birianyi. Send back the sweet trolley. Back at the hotel there's no web access from the bed. Still very tired and fall asleep for an hour or more. I try the web again from the desk and it works. Wierd. Skype home, apparently it's illegal here and is viewed as telecoms theft. Visit the roof top pool for a swim (pictures on FB) and accept an invite out to a quiz night.

The quiz night is at the Hilton across town by taxi. Quite fun, I join the team Ken and Barbi, with Rick, the guy I'm working for, his wife Pam and her sister Barbara. Discuss working out here, that might be fun. We don't win but we're not last, then taxi (not limo!) back to my hotel at 10.30pm.

More blogging then bed. Up at 6.45am for a start at 8.00am; I wonder how many will turn up by then.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 3 of 7: Working Week Starts Here

"Marhaba" (hello). Weather today 27°C, still cloudy and warm; music Vaughn Williams, Mendelssohn, Bruch and Hank Williams. Photos here. Tip: have something to say (yes, I know but I am trying).

To bed at 12.30am (UAE time) and doze until 3,30; try to get more sleep but "Sleep won't come" (Your Cheatin' heart) so up for blog, TV and tea. Maybe I'm worried that after yesterday's sleep in I may not hear the phone alarm. Watch BBC Worldwide News; typical UN, about bloody time.

Last nights tango milonga in the Millenium hotel bar was a select affair of a very high standard. However, only 3 couples on the small dance floor (even smaller than Guppy's in York) when I arrive. All ex-pats but not all British, I meet a friendly Turk and a Russian, and hear the familiar tale of "we usually get far more people". I don't enjoy the smoke from the cigar of one non-participant who shares the venue so I stay only an hour but by 11.00pm there is only one couple left.

Ask the concierge for a taxi and ride the 2 miles back to my hotel only to discover that I'm in what is laughingly described as a "limo". It's only a poxy Audi and a small one at that but it has a minimum charge of 40 dirhams, about £6.40  Still cheap by our standards but as I only paid 10 dirhams, about £1.60, for the trip down I do feel, probably unjustly, that I've been ripped off.

Oh dear, now diarrhea, no one's told my insides that I'm not ill. So where's the imodium and my nurse (lovely wife) when I need them. Console myself that the local Boots opens at 10.00. I drink lots and lots of water, shower, wait......, wait a bit longer......, and then go down to breakfast at 6.25. Find a free copy of Gulf News outside my door.

Choose American, rather than Oriental and enjoy French toast, veal bacon, chicken sausages, mushrooms and rather runny eggs Florentine. My constructive comment to the manager, which was well received, was that although it was a very good breakfast, it was all rather cold. As I leave she goes off to check the temperature of the hot plates.

No reaction so at 7.10 leave for the office for an 8 o'clock start.  

"Ma is salaama" (goodbye).
  

Abu Dhabi Day 2 of 7: Work and Tango

"As-salaamu alaykom" (greeting, peace be upon you). You reply "wa-alaykom, is salaam". 

Weather today 24°C, cloudy and warm; music whilst blogging, David Gray, Ray LaMontagne, Dido and Cat Stevens.

I can't load pictures to this blog, it takes ages, but I can load into Facebook, which is bizzare. So associated photos can be found on FB by clicking here.

Tip: the secret to this blogging lark is to remember what you did during the day, so make notes.

I’ve now unpacked at the 5 star Grand Millennium Hotel. You can tell the number of stars as it has free slippers and dressing gown but the 'look like free' biscuits you pay for. I laughed when the girl in reception gave me two card keys so that I could go out AND leave the air conditioning on. The whole point of such card keys that turn everything electrical on, is that they're not there when you are out so everything is off. Oh, the poor planet!

Left several things at home as usual. The travel plug was no problem as they had the sense to fit western type plugs here. No swimming goggles, but these are available in the Mall next to the hotel. Also no battery charger for the camera but I do have a spare so will probably survive. I explore the rooftop pool and after a brief nap, am woken by phone (oops) and collected for the short ride to the venue for tomorrow's training. The intention was for me to install the software needed on the 7 laptops we are to use. This proves difficult when we enter the room to discover 7 chairs but no laptops and in fact no tables! Am assured that they will there and available by 7.00am tomorrow so postpone the install. I have learned to "always expect the unexpected".

I return to the hotel via the shopping mall where I buy new swimming goggles. It's just like home, it has a Boots, Claire's and Next, and I have coffee and carot cake at Costa. The only noticeable differences, and what differences, are the smoking and the dress code.

I'm fascinated by the men in their white, full length dress shirts (the dishdash, isn't that lovely, or khandura, I want one) and white or red checked headdress (the gutra) and the women in long, loose black (they obviously don't feel the heat) robes (the abaya). Some women cover their heads while others cover all but their eyes. The most striking appearance of all is a tall, slim, elegant woman who glides past me in an abaya plus a black veil which complete covers her face. I find this strangely alluring, which I'm sure defeats the object entirely.

Back to the hotel for dinner, delivered and served on a trolley (see the picture) by a very polite waiter, despite it only being two starters, and another quick nap. Wake and skype home (which is brilliant) and shower and dress to go out for the evening to tango, a milonga. Whilst in the shower, the doorbell (yes doorbell) rings again and I'm asked if I want my bed turned down. Am tempted but the asking is being done by a middle aged man with a bushy black moustache. Call a taxi at 9.45pm as while Jennie and friends are in Morley at a ball, I decide to visit a milonga at the other Millenium hotel in town.

Oh, did I mention that due to an "administrative problem" the hotel cannot sell alcohol at the moment.

Back to my 4 Bs (we're 4 hours ahead of the UK), blog, BBC7 (via ipod recordings as no connection here), book and bed, as up at 6 to start the week which here runs Sun - Thu.
  

Abu Dhabi Day 1 of 7: I Leave England

Wake early on Friday but doze until 9.20am, then spend the morning packing. Jennie drives me to Garforth station in my car for the 2.13pm to Manchester airport. Uneventful journey apart from the noise made by two young, Asian girls, one of whom has an inability to stop talking, even it seems in order to take a breath.

Arrive on time at 3.42pm and make the very, very long walk to Terminal 3. Check in for the 6.00pm flight to Brussels, where I change flights; no problems, although I have to drink and dispose of my bottle of water, then through to departures. I have to remove my belt but at least am allowed to keep my shoes on. I admit to having no liquids in my bag and smuggle through my small bottle of contact lens solution. Am I a fledgling terrorist? 

Enjoy a pint of John Smith’s, £3.30, in the departure lounge whilst on the web via Orange dongle, a bit slow but it’s £1 for 10 minutes here. Make a mental note to get a wizzy phone so I can use Facebook on the go. I should write it down really as mental notes are very transient to someone over 60.

I wonder whether the two guys sharing my table are twins. They sit in silence and read the Metro and the Sun. Have just posted the two letters I meant to post before I checked in. I must say it does show foresight, having a post box in departures.

It’s 5.10pm, 50 minutes to go, I’d best find a snack for the flight and a loo.

The flight is uneventful too and while away the time reading the guide and am disappointed to discover that they have both McDonalds and KFC. Arrive in Brussels, a very smooth landing, where it's raining hard, on time.Free wi fi here but no time for as soon as I've made another very long walk, it's time to board the flight to Abu Dhabi.

This flight is 6 1/2 hours long so try and sleep but fail. No problem to my neighbour, who is off to Kathmandu with 4 friends for a motor cycle trek leaving, as he says, the women and children at home. He misses the meal and sleeps from 8.30pm until we arrive at 6.45am, clocks forward 4 hours. When I ask how, he's taken a sleeping pill. Not a bad idea. Watch old episode of Outnumbered and the remake of True Grit, not bad. Still no sleep.

Arrive 10 minutes early, another faultless landing, and am collected by what is described as a limo, a new, white E class Mercedes estate. The roads are needle straight and we speed down the outside lane, the driver, who's from Jordan, swearing liberally in arabic. He's impressed, and so am I, that I know the word for thank you, shukran. I must learn the basics tonight.

At the hotel by 8am, the only problem being that the approach road is blocked. The whole place is still a building site, even on a Saturday.

Sleep now, more blog and skype later.

  

Last Day and Home

Up at 6am, more sleep last night, and decide to look for flights to Malta as we have a week in May booked at the Porto Azzurro Hotel, half board, for only £50 each. The local airport, Leeds/Bradford, has only business class at £1141 each!! I'll keep looking. Search for the holiday checklists I found on google when going to Spain last year. Isn’t the interweb just wonderful. Last day of the course so have to pack and checkout. It’s a shame as there will be no lunch time break at the hotel today. Might leave my case here though and shop as I need a guide book to the UAE. Play Laura Marling whilst packing; especially like this track.

At breakfast a young woman looks straight through me; I look like her dad. On the plus side, young women are very approachable now, because I look like their dad. The very best look for a serial killer I suppose.

It’s raining again and very cold as I walk across to the office. No delegates yet so peace and quiet. I might try the internet via my Orange dongle. Blow me, it works! At lunchtime it stops raining and the sun is out so I walk to Waterstones and buy a guide to Abu Dhabi. Unfortunately, it’s for ex-pats hoping to settle there but it’s very comprehensive and the only one they have.

As it's the last day I finish the course at 4pm. The paper evaluations are very good and two of them say it's "the best course they've ever been on". That was nice.

Back to the hotel to write more blog before I collect my case and board the train, first class again with free wi fi, tea and snacks, for the ride back to York. Surrounded by people eating vegetable curry and drinking red wine. Lovely smells.

Arrive in York with half an hour to wait in the lounge for my next train but free wi fi eases the burden. Then on to Micklefield, where Jennie will collect me and drive me home. Jennie arrives in her Z3 sports car and I am surprised to discover that my newly acquired suitcase will NOT fit in the boot! I have to travel the 5 miles home on the front seat jammed under the suitcase, which only just fits in.

To bed. Tomorrow at 1.45pm I leave for Abu Dhabi.
  

Dinner Out Tonight

Breakfast with eggs this morning and no chips as they’ve all gone. Not raining but wet as I walk the few yards to the office from the hotel. It’s very hot in the boardroom. Apparently, no one thought to turn off everything at the wall last night so some laptops and the projector are still alive. Partly my fault I suppose.

Just received details of my hotel for next week, the Millennium Hotel Abu Dhabi. It certainly beats my usual for comfort and style. There’s free wi fi, a leisure club and a pool. Called NatWest to let them know I’m travelling abroad. They didn't seem very bothered and just gave me an emergency number to ring. Might have left it a bit late to get the local currency, dirhams, about 6 to the £, to take with me. Will try M&S, but say nothing, or try at the airport! Will also need a guide book. When out there I’ve been told to haggle for everything or risk being ripped off.

Lunch time. Weather girl says it’s cloudy and cold. Not up here it’s not, we have warm sunshine and I need my sun glasses. No sleep since 4 o’clock so back to the hotel for fruit, tea and a nap. Better set the phone alarm; it’s doesn’t do for the trainer to be late! Nap not happening so back to the office an hour later.

Get a new booking by text for three days Oracle training in Manchester in May, with an offer to pay for a hotel for one night, which is nice.

Everyone has had enough by about 4pm today so we finish then. It’s the third day of a four day course and they are beginning to tire. I’m on the train to Ayr at 4.30pm for dinner with my younger brother Robert and his wife Lorraine. Stop at M&S in the station to buy chocolates and wine as a gift.

Robert collects me from the station in his white Audi TT Quatro; very, very nice. Their son Chris joins us for lasagna, with red wine for me, and we yawn through the Chelsea game on ITV. Only a flying visit and I’m back to Glasgow on the 10.13pm train and to the hotel by 11.20pm. Just in time to enjoy Inter's win.

Now for tea and bx4; that’s BBC7, blog, book and bed. Let’s hope I get more sleep tonight.
  

A Rude Awakening

Some tosser wakes me at 3.37am by using his mobile phone, in a very loud voice indeed, right outside my bedroom door. Decide to wake up and have tea only to discover that the hotel appears to have only day time access to the internet. Perhaps the poor router was tired after a long day and has gone to bed to sleep! I’ll have to use my portable radio for BBC7 instead. I hope the batteries aren’t asleep as well. If so, I’ll listen to Madeleine Peyroux on iTunes.

Last evening I rediscovered skype, I’d forgotten has clever it was; free calls over the internet even when abroad. This will be very useful next week as I’m down to my last 27 free minutes between now and the 5^th April. That’s over 2 weeks away. Impressed by the simple test for speakers, microphone and webcam. Not impressed that my microphone refuses to work.

Add my Facebook friends as contacts on skype, well 37 of them, and inadvertently email them all an invite to join. I ought to write an FB apology, when both I and the router wake up in the morning.

Radio batteries have gone to sleep but blow me, the router has woken up. Decide on Madeleine anyway.

Still awake at 5.51, it's going to be a looooooooooong day! Power nap at lunch time?
  

It's Still Raining

Another restless night, wake at 3.30am but then sleep until 6.30. It’s still raining so walk the 300 yards to the office under an umbrella. Have eaten breakfast but no egg today, chlostererol (as Manual would say) again.

Set course delegates a long exercise so I can have an extended lunch (fruit only) back at the hotel. Yes it’s still raining despite weather girl telling me “it’s a lovely sunny day”. Not up here it’s not! And it’s still raining when I walk back to the office an hour later.

It’s now snowing which appears to be no surprise to the Scots. Am disappointed that the snow stops before I leave the office at 4.30. Have coffee and cake in Café Nero with my lovely niece Laura, a student in Glasgow before returning to the hotel.

This evening I booked my train ticket to Manchester airport for the week long trip to Abu Dhabi on Friday, the main reason why I started this blog. I like the rail website and the discount.

Manchester United go through and tomorrow I visit my brother Robert in Ayr to watch Chelsea.

Find ear plugs and then book and bed.

  

Glasgow Day One

Awake at 3.33, why is it always 3.33 or 4.44? At least it’s never 6.66! Back to bed and sleep until 6.15. The hotel is warm, the heating’s been on all night, but noisy as it’s old, so no double glazing, and I’m four floors up above a main road, Argyle Street.

Mail my brother Robert in Ayr to see if he’s available for a beer one evening this week and find this link to tango in Glasgow. Maybe I’ll visit tonight.

Have a fixed temperature shower, good, but attempt to use the Hand and Body Lotion instead of shower gel, bad. Yes, I am half blind without my glasses. This shower was designed for giants. The head is fixed to the wall at about 7 feet up with no slide or rake and the water almost goes directly over my head!

Go down to breakfast. Only in Scotland, round flat chips, can’t resist despite my high cholesterol (will blog this soon). A healthy, breathless walk back up 4 flights of stairs to my room, to make up for the chips, only to discover that it should only have been 3 flights as breakfast is on the first.

Arrive at the office I’m visiting at 8.30am. Apparently I’m in the financial centre of Glasgow although one delegate later tells me it’s the red light district and that my hotel used to be a ’knocking shop’. No one there, too early as usual. Sit in reception and blog to a Word file for later use.

The training is in a board room using laptops, the very worst environment. The table is a mess of plugs and wires. Why is it that IT companies like this have slow equipment, no internet connection and local networks that don’t work? Is it a rule?

It’s lunch time, though no lunch provided (cheapskates) so back to the hotel for a quick web fix and some fruit. The course went well today and finished at about 4.15pm. Back to the hotel again for food from the local Tescos.

At 7.00pm off to tango in Glasgow. The class of 8 couples plus 2 men together (there were too many men) was vey well taught; technique rather than steps. Started with exercises then covered the Carpa (the tent)
 and the Calasetia (the windmill). The female teacher reminded me of Anna in York. One drawback was the venue. A rather cold and soulless high ceilinged hall and there was no milonga to look forward too; they just do a 90 minute class.

More Radio7 tonight. Tomorrow I may have coffee with my Scottish niece Laura. 
  

This Week Glasgow

This is by way of a practise or is it practice; no, right first time, and if not my lovely wife Jennie is sure to correct me. Anyway, a practise (the verb), as next week I will be blogging from Abu Dhabi with no access to Facebook apparently.

Alex, my wife's son, offers a lift to York station for the 17.05 to Glasgow after a traditional home cooked Sunday lunch. A slight delay when we have to stop in a pub car park while I worry about missing the train and Alex re-attaches his broken wing mirror with gaffa tape. It's OK, we arrive in York with 5 minutes to spare.

Very cheap first class travel (£50 return courtesy of my old man's rail card and the foresight to book ahead) up north for a 4 day Oracle course. There were also added perks; an almost empty coach, free wi-fi (you get only 15 minutes in standard class) and complementary tea and biscuits. No free Independent this time though. 

It's raining and very cold when I arrive, no surprise as I'm north of the border, but only a short walk from Central station to the Alexander Thompson hotel. Check in and watch Waking The Dead (scary) while waiting for the FA Cup highlights on ITV. The hotel is warm, which I like and need, and the web is free here too. I like the password - 'haveagoodday'.

However, I forget that I'm in Scotland, where English football comes a poor second to the point where the highlights program is not on at all! Disappointed and Scottish footba' on BBC2 is no substitute. 

Settle for an old episode of Men Behaving Badly, nice to have Freeview, then Radio7 via the internet and bed by 1.00am.